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Archive for April, 2014

Nation wants to know who is the next PM


Preface: Frankly Speaking, nation wants to know a lot of things about our PM candidates. This is just the beginning. NOM to any real people/entity with this hypothetical interview.

So elections fever is on as is evident clearly. In some states/constituencies, polling is done already and in others there is anticipation of the D-day. For campaigning, our leaders promote their party day in and day out in rallies all over India. They even promote their party in press, newspapers, news channels and elsewhere. So one fine day to promote their party to whole new heights all the prominent netas went to the ‘legen–wait for it daryyy’ Ornab Da’ s show Frankly Speaking.

Frankly Speaking, this is the entertainment no 1 show(against popular perception that it’s news debate show) which sometimes for a change caters to news(read paid news),creates huge TRPs for the channel(other prominent channel debate shows are no match) but also more importantly is responsible to give ideas (read News Item) to lot of satire artists all over the country. Since the inception of this show, satire industry is booming and satire artists can’t imagine their life without this show and Ornab Da is the sole person for whom this success should be credited. Cross questioning, investigating(rather than interviewing) and more importantly shouting are his strengths which no one in media can match.Enough said and given praises(read bezati), let’s start the show.

Guest tonight is not 1 or 2 but all the 3 PM candidates who are to rule India in the near future. So introducing all for the first time ever in one platform:

NaMo aka HOTY(frontrunner who is in red hot form),AK aka NOTY(who exposes everyone),RaGa aka POTY(u know what is POTY right??) and our beloved Ornab Da aka KOTY(read in Kannada).

KOTY: I have only 10 questions and whoever answers(read controversial answers)it well and more importantly answers it first(by pressing buzzer in KJo’s Kofee With Karan ishtyle) will be the next PM.

Q1: Who is giving his first ever TV interview now??

HOTY and NOTY presses the buzzer at the same time and answer POTY.

HOTY: I pressed buzzer first.

NOTY: I did.

KOTY: You both can answer.

HOTY: My answer is POTY. He should have been the first ever person to answer this Q. LOL Laughing out loud

NOTY: POTY it is. ROFLRolling on the floor laughing

KOTY: HOTY 1, NOTY 1, POTY a big Unda.Winking smile

POTY: This is cheating. I will complain to my mummy.Crying face

Q2: Which came first Chicken or Egg?

All of them press buzzer and has different theory altogether.

NOTY: Neither Chicken Nor Egg came first. Jan LokPal came first…Winking smile

HOTY: In Gujarat,we don’t divide people like Congress do elsewhere and believe in giving equal opportunities.

POTY: It doesn’t matter as long as both have surnames as Gandhi both will come first in class.

KOTY: But we are not talking about any class here.

POTY: What if I ask you the same question???

KOTY: Excuse me. It is your interview(that too your first one in 10 years),not mine.

After 2nd Question, I think I have to give to everyone(as I don’t know the answer- silent LOL)Confused smile

HOTY 2, NOTY 2, POTY 1.

Q3: What is escape velocity of Jupiter??

Only HOTY and POTY press buzzer this time.

HOTY: The speed at which Congress comes up with new scams that prevents law from catching up.Party smile

POTY: It’s 60 km/sec Nerd smile(Thinking- Thank GOD!! I remembered this now while mugging up this concept for some totally unrelated speech)

KOTY: I am blown away by your answer POTY. Surprised smile Well done(How does this kid know so much at this young age of 42??)Confused smile

HOTY 2, NOTY 2, POTY 2.

Q4: Can anyone ever get cornered in a round room??

Only POTY buzz this time.

POTY: Yes. Only I can(when you interview me again) and Rajnikanth off course.

POTY with the lead now.

HOTY 2, NOTY 2, POTY 3.

Q5: A tough one-How can corruption be solved in this country??

All press buzzers with different answers/ideas.

NOTY: By sweeping away corruption from broom.

HOTY: By voting out Congress, half the problem will be solved, We want a Congress Mukt Bharat.

POTY: By one and only one thing-Voting for Congress!! What is corruption?? It is state of mind just like poverty is.I don't know smile

KOTY: Well done all of you.(State of Mind??You’re out of your mind)

HOTY 3, NOTY 3, POTY 4.

Q6: When was the last recorded time when MMS spoke?

NOTY wins it hands down by answering The day before he became PM of this country for the first time.

HOTY 3, NOTY 4, POTY 4.

Q7: What is Power of 49?

NOTY: Very proudly, the power of my government for ruling Delhi for 49 days.

HOTY: Power of 49 is women empowerment to make or break the government.

POTY: Power is poison and 49 is just another number (Meanwhile he mugs up this answer ‘Women Empowerment’ from HOTY)Nerd smile

Everyone in the studio is ROFLing and LOLing to this reply. Laughing out loudRolling on the floor laughingRolling on the floor laughingRolling on the floor laughing KOTY feels left out and shouts by raising his voice. Annoyed Just then Raj Thackeray breaks in to the studio to watch this much awaited show live. KOTY goes silent for the first time in the history of this show.Confused smile

HOTY 4, NOTY 4, POTY 4.

Q8: What is the first thing you want to do if you become PM?

NOTY: I want to remove corruption in the country by bringing in a strong LokPal.

HOTY: I want to elect only clean candidates in my cabinet and leave out corrupted ones.

POTY: Women Empowerment(with a dumb face)Thinking smile

KOTY: I am not able to decide. So score still remains at HOTY 4, NOTY 4, POTY 4.

Q9: Is there a MODI wave, AAP revolution or what do I say about Rahul Baba?

POTY: This is insulting. I want to empower journalists as well along with the women. Next question please.

KOTY: HOTY 4, NOTY 4, POTY 4

Last question of the interview which is going to change the fate of this country.Everyone waits for baited breath as this is their last chance for redemption.Fingers crossed

Q10: Why should we vote you??

NOTY: After adding CM in my CV, I want to add PM also.

POTY: I want to enjoy my life for 5 more years.

HOTY: Ha ha ha. Do we have any other option??

KOTY: I have to say this all of you have scored equally with this question. Let the public decide whom to vote and decide the fate of this country. Who am I to judge??I don't know smile

NOTY: Is this a publicity stunt?? And is the show funded by Mr. Ambani??Angry smile

HOTY: Nation wants to know. Kaun he yeh aadmi??? Zara ghor se diye is shaks ko. Yeh hi hey yeh aadmi jo chila chila ke logon ko jeena haram karta hai. LOLLaughing out loud

As the show director says packup..

POTY: Where is my Coffee Toffee Hamper for winning the buzzer round for first time on debut??

KOTY: I had bought only 1 which I am taking home as I was not able to decide who should have got it.

POTY: Mummyyyyyyyyyyyyy…………….

P.S: From uncut version of this show

KOTY: I want to confess that I am not able to decide whom to vote.

NOTY: After exposing everyone, I too got exposed only once in my life.Don't tell anyone smile

HOTY: Gujrat model will not work for India. Rather a different set of decisions/model have to be made for each state.Hot smile

POTY: Mein kabhi batlata nahin, par Modi se mein daartan hun main Maa.


The Great Indian Election Debate


It’s election time !!! The biggest reality show ever of the largest democracy in the world. To impress upon the people and show(read fool) the people that we have done good work(or rather not done at all), all the politicians from major parties came forward to discuss in what could be the most important debates ever. Sounds interesting? No? Anyways lets get the show started…

Disclaimer: All characters presented here are fictitious and created in the vast expanse of the mind by unleashing imaginative power. Any resemblance to living person or dead is purely intentional and written with the only objective of having fun with the words and not to mean any offence to any person involved.

So here’s Presenting snippets from the debate…

Baitein baitein kya kare karna hai kuch kaam, shuru karo debate show, leke prabhu ka naam..

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Soniyo: ABCD Padhli bahut Thandi aahein bhar li bahut, Acchi baat kar li bahut, Ab karenge tere saat Gandhi Baat Gandhi Gandhi Gandhi Baat Gandhi Baat.

Pappu(Can’t Speak Saala) : Aap ko kya lagta hai iss baar hamari party election jitegi?

Soniyo: Abki baar(Modi sarkaar) Abki baar(Modi sarkaar), toh lagta hai sirf DON jitega.

Pappu: DON?

Soniyo: Wohi Gujrati DON (Darling Of the Nation)

Pappu: Mummy,Mummy

Soniyo: Yes Pappu

Pappu: Telling lies??

Soniyo: No Pappu

Pappu: Mummy,Agar main PM nahin bana to kya karunga???

Soniyo: Beta, Mujhe toh yeh chinta hai ki agar ban gaya toh kya karega?(LOL)

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Itne mein ek awaaz suniya deti hai jo kisine aaj tak suni ho …..

Kaisi Teri Khudgarzi Na Humein sune na koi

Kaisi Teri Khudgarzi teri authority se mum hai koi

Ban liya mera Paigambar

Tar liya saat samundar(Italy se) Phir bhi sookha mann ke andar

Kyun reh gaya Re??

Soniya maan ja

Oh Madamji Maan ja

Aaja tujhko pukare teri Manmohaniyaaa..

Manmohaniyaa: Soniyooooo…. O Soniyoooooo re, maan jaa..

Soniyo: Chup. Bilkul Chup. Buloo mat, hum debate kar rahe hain,public hamein dekh rahi hai.

Woh din tha aur aaj din hai jaahaan kisine Manmahoniya ko suna hai na sun payega…….

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Arey Diwano,Mujhe pehchano,Gujarat se aaya,Mein hun kaun?

Mein hun kaun,mein hun kaun,Mein hun mein hun mein hun kaun

DON DON DON….

NaMo: Ek baat zara ghor se suno Soniyo, Don ko harana mushkil hi nahi naamumkin hai

Soniyo: Hum bhi kisise kam nahi hai..

NaMo: Haan Scams karne mein. Aap jeetein hum haare.

Soniyo: AAP jeetein toh tum haare. Dilli mein !! (LOL)

NaMo: Hum haare nahin aur AAP jeetein nahin. Woh toh tum logon ka mili bhagat hai.

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NaMo:Pal do pal ka yeh safar, Pal do pal ka sarkaar

Humne hanskar AAP se yunhee kar li baat

Hadh kardi AAP ne Hadh kardi AAP ne

AK 49: Ab toh hadh karni padegi. Kyunki aap logon ne hadh paar kar li he.(public applauds)

NaMo: Toh AAP ka next dharna kab hai?

AK 49: Chai ke liye jaise toast hota hai, waise har ek dharna jaroori hota hai. Dharna Zaroori hai !!

NaMo: Dharna Mana hai !! Mein bhi RGV ka fan hun (smiling with tongue out)

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Dhina Din Dha  Dhina Din Dha Dhina Din Dha

2G, CoalG, 2G, CWG, lo G suno G

Main hun ManMohan G

Karta hun Main jo woh tum bhi karo G

1 2 ka 4 , 4 2 ka 1

My name is Manmohan  My name is Manmohan

Sab logon ka PM,Mera naam hai Manmohan (Sab ka PM?? Soniyo: ROFL)

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Aka Chikee Lakee Chikee

Chikee Lakee Chu Mera Chekee Dimple Chikee Chikee

Lakee Chikee Chu

Aka Chikee Lakee Chikee Chikee

Lakee Chikee Chu Mera Chekee Dimple Chikee Chikee

Lakee Chikee Chu

Mai Khwabon Ka Shehzada Mai Hu Har Dil Pe Chhaya

Ho, Zero Hai Meri IQ  Mai Hu Congress ka VP

Congress Dubaane Mai Hu Aaya Congress Dubaane Mai Hu Aaya

Kehte Hain Mujhko Rahulaaa Gandhiii

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Ting Tang ,Ting Tang-Tang,Ting Tang,Ting Tang-Tang

Raaaraaareeeruuuu Ahaa Raaaraaareeeruuuu

NaMo: Ji haan mein hun aapka Nayak

Ting Tang,Ting Tang-Tang,Ting Tang,Ting Tang-Tang

Khalnayak nahinnn,Nayak hun main

Khalnayak nahinnn,Nayak hun main zulmi nahin sukhdayak hun main

Hai nafrat kya mujhko kya khabar, bas yaar pyaar ke laayak hun main.(public applauds)

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AK 49: Haanny hum mar jaayenge(corruption se), hum toh lut jaayenge(corruption se)

Aisi baatein kiya na karo, humein govt form karna ka mauka toh de do

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NaMo: Govt ka hai 49 din o o o o o, Baaki sab dharne ke din ooooooo

Jaaye Jaaye Jaaaye Jaaye Ek baar jab govt jaye,toh phir na kabhi bhi aaye

Ho Ho,toh phir na kabhi bhi aaye(BJP fans applaud)

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AK 49: Mera WagonR hai Japani, Yeh patloon English staani

Sar pe AAP ki topi , Aur Dil hai Hindustani(NaMo: LOL)

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NaMo: Iski topi uske sar,Uski topi iske sar

Iski topi uske sar,Uski topi iske sar

Aise hi chalta hai,Sari duniya ka chakkar

Samjhe mister

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As we conclude the debate,let’s hear in last thoughts from our PM candidates..

Pappu: I want to open up the system, bring in RTI, do women empowerment and give these 3 fundas to anything you ask. Vote For Me !! (Soniyo:LOL)

AK 49: AAP ki sarkaar, AAP ka PM

NaMo: Tera dhiyaan kidhar he, yeh tera PM idhar he

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P.S: Vote wisely. Vote For India !! And yeah vote/rate this blogpost too…

Keep Smiling 🙂


Flat Number 7


Adarsh and Avinash passed out from engineering college in 2013. They were good friends right from school.Both had received a offer from TCS in Hinjewadi,Pune.So they traveled from Belgaum to Pune two days in advance to hunt for a room in Pune.They were looking out for a room in Aundh and after seeing over 5 flats and being unsatisfied and exhausted, they decided to end the day in seeing last flat of the day and later hit the pub to relax. Fortunately when they saw the 6th flat, they instantly liked it.This 2bhk flat was neat,elegant,spacious,well furnished and more importantly at a reasonable rate.They could not believe their luck and thought how come this flat was vacant even for few days that too at a prime location in Aundh.May be they just got lucky.They instantly booked the room and the room broker promised them to arrange a meeting with the owner the next day. They met the owner and got to know about intricacies like maintenance costs,water supply,gas connection, maid availability etc. One of the rooms out of the two was locked and upon asking the owner they were instructed not to open it and owner told them they will be charged less and since they were only 2 they could use the other spacious master bedroom. They received an offer they could not refuse as  the final rent was very much under their expectations. They paid the advance to the owner and cleared the bill of the broker. The owner was leaving for some urgent work and reminded the tenants not to open/use the other room.

After 2 days, Avinash’s parents were in Pune for a family function to be held few days later.So he went to meet them after work and stayed with them in hotel.Next day he received an unexpected call from one of his friend that he will be in Pune next day as he had some work in Mumbai. He also said that he will be bit late as he is expected to be occupied till 8pm in Mumbai. At 9pm, Avinash reached room and informed Adarsh about his friend’s visit. He also told Adarsh that they will use the other room as it will be difficult for them to adjust in one room. Adarsh refused as it was against owner’s wish but since it was just matter of one day as his friend was expected to leave next morning, he agreed. Meanwhile Avinash appreciated Adarsh’s cooking skills as he tasted Palak Paneer for a test trial.

As the aroma of paneer filled the room, Avinash unlocked the room.When he opened the door,he could sense some creepiness and had a feeling of some paranormal activity.Upon switching on the light, one of the blood ridden walls read Tumhein Marna Hoga and blood was scattered on the walls around him. He could also see some broken toys scattered on the floor.Avinash braver among the two was terrified and scared to death. He thought he made a big mistake by unlocking this room, was uncertain about his future and latched the door instantly with his trembling hand.Meanwhile Adarsh shouted as a fire lit up in kitchen from nowhere and blew it off immediately. Adarsh asked Avinash what made him to shout and Avinash explained him in detail. Now Adarsh is mum and it scared the shit out of him.The latched door opened automatically and they held it without entering and locked it back. Both could not believe their fate and moved out of the room terrorized.They decided to call the owner and then chose against it as he had traveled to US to see his daughter. They behaved as though nothing had happened and asked the watchman purposefully about the water supply and other challenges/complaints from the room as he avoided more question by saying it’s good. Then when he is asked about the previous tenants, he said that they were very good and well-behaved and left as they got transferred. He also hinted that he remembered them saying they heard some strange voices from the locked room.This explanation is enough for Avinash and Adarsh to conclude that their room was haunted. They behaved normally and decided to have a walk until their friend arrives. Since it was too late and they didn’t knew much of Pune they decided to pass the night in their room.

At last Avinash’s friend arrived. They walked him to the room and passed the night without any incident. Avinash’s friend had a deep sleep while Adarsh and Avinash did not sleep even for a minute and looked disturbed.The next day Avinash was supposed to attend the family function. Adarsh insisted him to attend the function as his parents were also there. Avinash left for the function hesitantly and as he stepped out of the rickshaw at the function site, he saw all his family members out of the building and shouting at a terrace room looking worried. Avinash is told his brother is trapped inside a locked room.Avinash quickly moves to the room against his parent’s wish. The housekeeping attending that room is lying on the floor after being hit by something.Avinash bangs the door and somehow manages to break in inside. He finds his brother injured and lying on the floor suffocated for some reason. As he prepares to carry him and take him to bed he finds someone standing behind him.Upon turning,he finds the devil like figure saying Tumhein Marna Hoga.


Final Haara Re…


We lived our dream to win WC 2011. It was an emotional moment for everyone involved. A dream come true. Another dream to win WC 2014, this time a T20 was on cards. Our team India was looking ominous by being the only team to remain unbeaten in the entire tournament. We had a star studded batting lineup as it has always been the case. Our bowling especially spinners were looking good given the assisting pitch and similar home conditions. So Indian team were tough to beat. But in the finals we had to face an equally good, another subcontinent team SriLanka.
After loosing toss and batting first we had a blessing in disguise. It was always a good option to put up a challenging score and put pressure on the opposition as this being a big tense final even 150-160 would translate into 170-180 because of the pressure. At halfway stage we had a decent run rate and looked good to put up a huge total as we had lost only 2 wickets and had some hard hitters to come. But what India finally managed to make a meager 130 runs with wickets in hand was something no one would have predicted or imagined.
Fast-forwarding, Sri Lanka were almost in a similar stage at 14-15 overs with our bowlers especially spinners bowling beautifully and hitherto clinching wickets. But Indians couldn’t match the death bowling what Sri Lanka managed to display in what could be the best death bowling in recent times. So Sri Lanka win and India loose. Now that India have lost that too in a final we have to criticize someone.
So we analyze it further. Tat India’s batting session between 16-20 over’s where India managed to score only 19 runs is under the scanner. Batsman involved were Kohli who was on song yet again and Yuvi who was out of touch yet again. So we blame that Yuvi did not score enough runs after have come to bat at 11th over. Yuvi was completely out of touch as was evident clearly. The ball he got out was a full toss. But he tried hard not to get bogged down. He tried and tried but never succeeded. To add to his misery,the Sri Lankans particularly Malinga were bowling with a plan which was difficult to counter attack wen he decided to score after he depended mostly on singles wen spinners were bowling.Pacers were bowling wide yorkers which doesn’t seem to be present in dictionary of Indian bowlers. Even captain cool Dhoni couldn’t get enough runs in few balls he faced after he promoted himself to bat. This shows that India couldn’t get enough runs because Yuvi was not scoring, Srilankans were bowling exceptionally well and Kohli couldn’t get enough strike. So we have already selected the bait Yuvi and criticize singling him out. We don’t care what the rest of the 10 players do. As rightly said by Sachin, he can be criticized but not crucified and be written off for the rest of his life.But what do we do???We go overboard and attack his house, troll him on social networking sites.This is complete rubbish. We worship players when we win but we need to be more strong/supportive during our defeat.
Yuvi has won us more games than most of the other teammates. During 2007 T20 WC, he was exceptional in scripting famous wins. During 2011 ODI WC, he was man of the series. He was exceptional not only with the bat but he bowled minimum 8 over’s almost every match consistently clinching wickets at crucial time of the game and thus becoming the game changer. Apart from these he has been a match winner for many many games.After famous WC win(when he nauseated and vomited blood) he was diagnosed with career(if not life) threatening cancer. He fought that with great gusto and made a inspirational comeback. After that he fought hard to be the match winner he has been over the years, every time he donned India cap. He tried every time giving his everything. That’s Wat he did the other day. But he failed when it mattered the most in a final. Never mind that’s part and parcel of the game.

P.S : Having said that, I fear we are seeing last of Yuvraj Singh on a cricket field.

 


A Love Story…


“Baar baar aati hai mujhko madhur yaad bachpan teri…gaya le gaya tu jeevan ki sabse mast khushi meri”

Those were the days. Those were the days of 90s when we were of school going age. School was fun and very eventful. Cream shirt, maroon shorts/skirt, maroon striped tie, a colorful school bag, a tiffin box with our favorite dish and a funky water bottle was the way we carried ourselves. Except Wednesdays when it was color dress, meaning, u can wear any dress of your choice and on Saturdays it was all white attire with white canvas shoes. If at all you missed wearing tie, belt, shoes you were liable for hafta to be given to special students called as cabinet leaders. A good day earning would fetch them many ice candies and chocolates. 😛 These cabinet leaders reported to the School Prime Leader(SPL).On Saturdays, there would be couple of exercises along with a march- past with the school band, as I write this, I can listen to the band 🙂 The SPL along with cabinet leaders would stand upfront and show us the moves as the band came into action. Every school day started with morning prayers in an assembly on the ground and ended with a national anthem in class over intercom. During assembly, every person stood as per his/her height class wise. After morning prayer, to be adept with current affairs, each person as per roll number was supposed to read out the news from a newspaper to the whole gathering. There was certain protocol(read rule) to start the news-“The news. Deccan Herald”, Nothing more, nothing less than this 😛 Sundays was meant for TV and Cricket. Those were the days when world saw the brilliance of Sachin Tendulkar on a cricket field emulating or even getting past the original little master Sunil Gavaskar. DD1 was the only TV channel available which later led to the emergence of cable channels Zee and Sony. Friday night was the time when a relatively new Hindi film was aired on TV. Those were the days when Sunday evening 4 pm was the only time a regional cinema (read Kannada) would be telecast. I used to look forward in bated breath with my grandmother to check which film would be screened that day readying ourselves for tea. If it turned out to be a RajKumar or Anant Nag starrer (our favorite stars), we would be delighted. That was the time when likes of Udit Narayan, Kumar Sanu, Alka Yagnik, Sonu Nigam ruled the music charts. Along with film music, pop albums coexisted and were quite popular.

Those were the days when Shakti-Shakti-Shaktimaan was the only superhero we knew. Every villain in real life was Tamraj Kilvish and every sorry to our parents/friends sounded as “Sorry ShaktiMaan”!! We enjoyed our movies whether it’s Johnny Lever’s comedy, Madhuri Dixit’s smile/dance, Sanjay Dutt’s KhalNayak act, Govinda’s comedy/dance,Sharukh Khan’s romance/negative characters, Kader Khan’s comic timing, Nana Patekar’s Krantiveer act, Salman Khan’s Hum Aapke hai Kaun, Akshay Kumar’s action sequences, Sunny Deol’s high pitch dialogues(Jab yeh dhai kilo ka haath kisi pe padta hai na … toh aadmi uthta nahi … utth jata hai 😛 ), Sooraj Bharjatiya’s family drama, Rahul Roy’s Aashiqui, Kajol’s versatility, A R Rahman’s music,various convincing characters played by Amrish Puri, Paresh Rawal, Anupam Kher, Shakti Kapoor and last but not the least Sunil Shetty’s HaiHuku HaiHuku Hai Hai 😛

Unlike today we played various games on the ground by getting our hands dirty (literally) especially cricket irrespective of scorching heat, pouring rain or chilling weather. Those were the days where we were glued to TV video games like Mario, Contra, Road Rash and handheld brick games when we were indoors. Also those card games, remember? Those Big Fun chewing gum were bought like crazy so that we could get those free trump cards on WWF and Cricket. We enjoyed even the ads that came up on TV- Rahul Dravid’s Jam Jam Jammy, a Japanese saying in his accent Suzuki Samurai, No Problem, A devil as a brand ambassador for Onida TV, Preity Zinta dancing to Laa..Laa la laaaa in Liril ad, tat cute kid’s mouthwatering expression on the mention of Jalebiiiiiiii from Dhara cooking oil, Humara Bajaj and off course Sabki pasand Nirma, Washing Powder Nirma. Those were the days when exceptional TV programs like Surabhi staring Renuka Shahane , Ramanand Sagar’s Ramayan, longest running film based TV program-Chitrahaar, a detective series called as TehkiKaat with Sam D’Silva as protagonist, MahaBharath (bought India standstill every Sunday at 11am), Rajit Kapur’s Byomkesh Bakshi, Ashok Saraf’s Hum Paanch, Annu Kapoor’s Antakshari, Alif Laila, Chandrakantha,Vikram Bethal, Shankar Nag’s Malgudi Days on the works of R.K.Narayan, Philips Top 10, Sonu Nigam’s Sa Re Ga Ma, Pankaj Kapur’s Office Office, Ramsay Brother’s Zee Horror Show entertained us. Not to forget CID which is still running I guess. Daya yeh darwaza thodo!! Hehe. Those were the days, those were the days of 90s. 

I was in 5th grade then. An average student, mischievous at times with flair in mathematics. Apart from playing cricket, movies was my favorite pastime. I loved mostly the romantic ones especially the first half where it was a done deal that hero and heroine would unite. During those times there came a film called Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge (in short DDLJ) which broke all the stereotypes. It was appreciated for its freshness and amazing chemistry between lead actors Shahrukh Khan and Kajol. I loved that film, so did everyone else. I never missed watching it again whenever it was aired on TV. Since then I idolized SRK and even called myself ‘Raj’ every time anyone asked my name. There was a certain Simran in my class. No there was no gal called Simran but I called one of gal so, because I was Raj. Whenever I would see her, more often than not, a tune would ring in my head- Tujhe Dekha toh yeh Jaana Sanam, Pyaar Hota Hai Deewana Sanam. She was cute and sweet and I think she also found me charming. I guess she fell in love with me in the pit created by my dimples. SRK had one, so did I. We used to show our love to each other by exchanging letters. Yeah u read it right, letters- LOVE letters. We were so immature and sweet then. We were not spoilt by cell phones and its offerings like Facebook or WhatsApp.

When we were afraid to speak one to one, we used to pour out our feelings on a paper even though it’s a simple thank you or a sorry. Now that we were in same class we used to sit together on same bench. Traditionally I was a back bencher but I didn’t mind sitting beside her on first bench. Whenever anyone tried to sit beside her I used to fight with them to retain ‘that’ place. Now sitting on the same bench we used to talk continuously, giggle and occasionally gossip. Also we used to share our tiffin during lunch break. During tiffin, we used to play a game where no one reveals what dish is there in his/her box and the other person has to guess. If he/she succeeds, well and good and if anyone fails, he/she has to do a task which the other person wishes. Once I was told to rap like Baba Sehgal or dance like Prabhu Deva. That was fun, real fun. We were happy in our own world. Her house was nearby school. I used to walk along with her and carry her heavy bag after school to drop her. Now that we were in our respective homes we used to miss each other. Luckily we knew their family- they were family friends. Her dad’s office was near our home. So to meet me in the name of ‘homework’, she used to go to her dad’s office and come to my place. When teacher used to give loads of homework, we used to be happier unlike others. 😛

Once she told me she wanted to learn to ride bicycle. My dad had bought me a new one recently and I decided to teach her on a ground nearby. After lot of practice, falling sometimes on the ground, she finally learnt to ride a bicycle. She was indebted to me and treated me a cola drink. She decided to buy 2 colas, but I blurted out a filmi dialogue saying “Dost ek hi bottle se cola peeyenge isse dosti badthi hai” and ended up drinking a single cola with 2 straws. 😛

Once there was a singing competition in our school and both of us had participated. She was a better singer though with a beautiful voice like that of Shreya Ghoshal at 10. It was auditions and we had a bunch of participants from different divisions coming to our class for singing. Competition was tough as we were competing with 7th grade students too. It was my turn and I had carefully thought of the song that I will sing. I began singing- Mein Toh Raste Se Jaa Raha tha( te te te taun), Mein Toh Bhel Puri Kha Raha tha (te te te taun), Mein Toh ladki ghuma raha tha ( looking at her ) 😉 Raste Se Jaa Raha tha, Bhelpuri Kha Raha tha, Ladki Ghuma Raha tha. Tujko Mirchi Lagi toh mein kya karun.(Looking at the audience with a bit of dance 🙂 ) Tujko Mirchi Lagi toh mein kya karun and she was the first one to clap and cheer me up as others joined for applause. Then it was her turn. And she put every one of us in trance by singing my favorite song from Saajan looking fixedly at me- Bahut Pyaar Karte Hai Tumko Sanam. Kasam Chahiye Lelo Khudha Ki Kasam. I just realized she finished it when audience clapped continuously to a thundering applause. Without any hesitation, the judges declared her as the winner. She got a huge Dairy Milk as a prize which we both shared after classes. She kept the wrapper too in her notebook intact for memories. 

One fine day she became our class monitor. There was a rule in our class-If anyone found talking and his/her name written by the monitor on the blackboard he/she would get a punishment. Punishment was he/she would get a tight slap from the monitor in the presence of teacher and the whole class. That day I purposefully talked and giggled with my other neighbor. She wrote my name on blackboard even though I was special to her as she was honest and I being honest with myself, accepted a slap from her gracefully. She hit me but ‘pyaar se’ unlike others who got a real slap. I was happy but she was hurt. She did not get the courage to say sorry so she wrote a sorry poem on a piece of paper and passed it to me. The poem read-

You were talking so much like you’re a bible reader.

I not like punishing but I was the leader

So had to slap you but I was very worry

Please don’t stop talking, I am sorry

Now I am a software engineer working in a MNC. Its weekend and I find myself lazy on my couch. I switch on the TV and find DDLJ is on air. All memories come rushing in. You ask me where is my Simran? She is happily married to Kuljeet with 2 kids.

P.S: The first thing that would pop up in your mind- Is this my story? Answer is a big NO. This is purely a fictional story, an inspiration from varied experiences.

Now, you can also access this blog on BlogAdda using this link.

 


Shaadi ke Adverse effects, Shaadi se Pehle


Preface: Owing to the storyline, I have changed the title to ‘Shaadi ke Adverse effects, Shaadi se Pehle’ 🙂
If you have missed what our hero Dev did in the first installment of this story, Please Click here

 

Dev entered the hall with full confidence knowing that he has won this important battle by getting rejected. Girl joined her camp and Dev sat beside his mom. Some hasee-mazak and girl set to leave with her parents. Dev never spoke about this room conversation with his parents and tried to avoid this engagement story by changing the topic swiftly whenever he was asked about it. He said that he had to leave to Mumbai soon as he had to complete his pending work which was due. He knew that his parents would get the news soon from the girl’s side. So he didn’t spill the beans himself and waited rather impatiently for the girl to do the honours.

Mumbai, Monday 10 AM: Dev entered his office with full tashan with headphones blaring a hit number from singer Arijit Singh- “Milne hai mujhse aayi”. His colleagues sensed a change in him and pestered him with remarks about another girl on the same floor whom they thought was his current crush. Dev avoided them and pretended he was working seriously. Just when he was about to go for his first coffee break, he received a call from his dad. Thinking girl took no time to reply back, he thought he was supposed to act naturally to mourn with his parents regarding his rejection of the proposal. But they just called to enquire about his travel whether he had reached safely the previous day. He almost asked whether they received any call from girl’s side but controlled his emotions after spilling hot coffee on his trousers.

After few days, Dev’s parents got a call from girl’s side. They said- Your boy said stupid things when they were conversing together in the room. Hence they thought it was wise to reject the proposal. Stupid things?? They said-your boy was addicted to alcohol and smoking and doesn’t seem interested in marriage and moreover was working very hard to get rejected. Dev’s parents did not utter a word and hung up the call. It took a while for them to digest this news and when things settled down a bit they dialled their son’s number.

Dev was in a meeting and on seeing his dad is on call he walked off the meeting excited to hear the good news. But all he heard was dad’s scolding’s and could barely speak a word. Dev was frustrated and angry at the developments. He was frustrated for obvious reasons and angry because girl couldn’t keep his secret after assuring him all will be handled accordingly. How could she do that? His intention to get rejected was fulfilled but at the expense of hurting his parent’s sentiments and most importantly losing faith in being himself. Just then he received a ‘hi’ from an unknown number on WhatsApp. Upon seeing the photo he understood it was from Sanjana, the Chennai girl. On chatting further he got to know that she had revealed everything to her parents. But she also said that she liked him in spite of all his weaknesses and bad habits. She also did some dialogue baazi-Tum handsome ho, well paid ho aur most important dil ke sachhe ho, tumhein agar mein mili to apne aap ko bahut fortunate manungi. Lekin mere parents is rishte ke khilaf hai.

The fact of the matter was- Dev had never smoked or consumed alcohol. He just told this to add weight age and make Sanjana think to reject his proposal. Now he had to clear the air and all the misunderstanding with his parents first but his dad was not on speaking terms with him. So he called his mom and told everything he had to share. You know it very well that mom believes in you when the whole world is against you. Mom was convinced that her son can’t do anything wrong and had behaved such due to circumstances which he was in. She used her negotiation skills to persuade Dev’s dad. After much persuasion, Dev’s dad understood his son’s situational behaviour and also decided to give him more time to pursue his dreams. Meanwhile Sanjana revolted with her parents for the first time ever and took a bold decision to study masters after quitting her job. Over next two years, Dev and Sanjana both become good friends and shared a special bonding with each passing day. They liked being together in each other’s company and one fine day decided to marry after careful consideration. When they both brought this news to their respective parents they were surprised and finally agreed without much eventualities. After all its Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi.

This is the story that Dev told to all his friends when he was asked how he met his wife, when they gathered to celebrate his first marriage anniversary.

P.S : After reading first part of the story many have asked whether it’s my story. I hope this blog post answers your question.
Keep Smiling 🙂 Cheers!!